Chapter Four:
We must remember that being a soldier of Christ means
we do not always live a life of ease. When one is called up to serve in their
Country's armed forces, they are required to relinquish certain things that may
hinder their usefulness. It is the same being a soldier of Christ. However, what Christ would have us
relinquish is not easy and will take some serious soul searching to see if you
are really willing to go as far as He requires.
The area I'm referring to are those sins that we secretly cherish, what
Gurnall calls "your bosom sins".
I want to share with you what Gurnall says about bosom
sins as he states it in a way that captures the essence of the struggle we must
all go through if we are to have victory..."Those sins which have lain
nearest your heart must now be trampled under your feet. And what courage and
resolution this requires!...Soul, take the lust which is the child dearest to
your heart, your Isaac, the sin from which you intend to gain the greatest
pleasure. Lay hands on it and offer it up; pour out its blood before Me; run
the sacrificing knife into the very heart of it - and do it joyfully! This is
more than the human spirit can bear to hear. Our lust will not lie so patiently
on the alter as Isaac....Our flesh will roar and shriek, rending the heart with
its hideous cries. Indeed, who can express the conflict, the wrestlings, the
convulsions of the spirit we endure before we can put our heart into such a
command? Or who can fully recount the cleverness with which such a lust will
plead for itself?
When the Spirit convicts you of sin, Satan will try to
convince you, 'It is such a little one-spare it." Or he will bribe the
soul with a vow of secrecy: 'You can keep me and your good reputation,
too....You may shut me in the attic of your heart, out of sight, if only you
will let me now and then have the wild embraces of your thoughts and affections
in secret.' If that will not be granted,
then Satan asks for a stay of execution, well knowing that most such reprieved
lusts at last obtain their full pardon. The longer we procrastinate, the harder
it becomes to break through the clever coaxing of this silver-tongued defender
of sin and death, and actually carry out the execution. History's bravest men have shown themselves
putty in the enemy's hands. They return from the field with victory banners
flying and then live and die slaves to a base lust at home. They are like the
great Roman who, as he rode triumphantly through the city, never took his eyes
off a prostitute walking along the street: a man who conquered empires,
captured by the glance of a single woman!"
He is warning us that our flesh will not easily let us
walk away from those things that, in all honesty, we secretly enjoy or even
love. These secret sins are those that
are the hardest to give up because our natural man, our flesh, loves them and
is unwilling to part with them. But it is of utmost necessity that we renounce
these sins as they will not only consistently come in the way of our walk with
God, but they are the source of your weak spots in your spiritual armor. In the natural world of war, you would never
go into battle knowing there were some holes anywhere in your armor as it would
be an easy opening for the enemy to wound or kill you. In the spiritual realm, having sins that we
cling to make way for the enemy of our souls to attack us. These bosom sins can be anything. We don't want to admit that we have a dark
side that enjoys those things that we keep from the light, but until we admit
they are there and renounce them and ask for forgiveness they will be a
perpetual chink in our armor.
Some examples: secretly enjoying others failure
because it makes us feel better, having
a sin we do when no one is watching, being a gossip in Church in the
guise of wanting information so we know how to pray for someone, enjoying feeling sorry for yourself because
of how life has treated you, issues with pride, impatience and unforgiveness. These are just to name a few. I'm sure that if you go before the Lord with
an open heart He will show you what your bosom sins are, but you're probably
already aware of at least one or two. Jeremiah
17:10 reads, "I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward
each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds
deserve." We all have the side of us
that we show to the world, but then there's the side of us that we keep hidden,
that only God knows about.
You must realize that your flesh will do whatever it
takes to come up with some excuse, some reason that you can hang on to at least
a little bit of sin, one that won't really be seen or noticed, one that you can
do in secret, or is considered a "small" sin compared to other sins. Your flesh is a master of deception and
manipulation and can trick even the smartest Saint if they are not solely
relying on the Holy Spirit's help. This
is not going to be a once and done proposition. Your flesh will fight you and
try to get the upper hand, every single moment of every single day, until you
stand before your God, having passed from this life to the next.
If you find it
necessary, do a daily, even moment by moment, inventory of whether your spirit
is in control or if it is your flesh. The moment your flesh is in control a
chink in your armor will appear and the enemy can attack you. We must realize
that our flesh is ALWAYS seeking an opportunity, as it lingers just below the
surface, to take over your thoughts and actions. It can be surprising just how quickly the
flesh roars to the surface. At that
moment, your defenses are down and you need to seriously repent and pray for
the Lord's help! Some bosom sins will be easy to renounce and be done with,
while others may be an ongoing challenge.
This is why it is so very important that we walk on a
daily basis with the help of the Holy Spirit.
We must be so aware of our bosom sins that we stop them immediately, in
their tracks, as soon as the flesh tries to arouse them. And if you are sincerely desirous of being
free of them, the Holy Spirit will be faithful and help you deal with them.
We will not be free of the flesh's pull on us until
we're with the Lord, but we can certainly learn to keep it in check if we are
serious about it. It is crucial that you deal with these by asking for help
from the Holy Spirit because nothing is impossible to overcome when you have
God on your side! Praying, and fasting,
is often the only way some of our more difficult bosom sins can be
overcome. If you don't know much about
fasting, you can find the chapter I wrote on fasting at this link: http://growingasadiscipleofchrist-fionab.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-reasons-and-benefits-of-fasting.html
Another godly brother, E. M. Bounds wrote, "If
the spirit of forgiveness is always maintained and constantly exercised, it is
a supreme defense against the attacks of Satan. An unforgiving spirit is not
only Satan's widest door into our hearts, but also the strongest invitation and
warmest welcome. Paul urged a spirit of
forgiveness (Second Corinthians 2:10-11), as a barrier against the Devil's
entrance into our lives. Paul also hastened to close the door to him by his own
readiness to forgive even in advance. A spirit of forgiveness that is free from
all bitterness, revenge, or retaliation has freed itself from the conditions
that invite Satan, and has effectually barred his entrance. The quickest way to
keep Satan out is to keep the spirit of forgiveness in."
If we are sincere and serious about overcoming our
"bosom sins", then with the help of the Holy Spirit, we will overcome
them. God will not leave us to struggle
with this on our own, for He wants us to have victory. He knows that a soldier needs to have solid,
battle ready armor, armor that leaves no entry for the enemy. God loves you too
much to let you fight with damaged armor!
P.S. Sorry the type looks different in some paragraphs. Blogger is giving me a hard time posting this chapter for some reason. This is the best I can get it. I hope it doesn't interfere with your ability to read the chapter!
